Sometimes I Get Emotional....Well, Emotional Eating That Is

Emotional eating, it's been there with me my entire life. This is one of the things I can confidently say I know that I am not alone in because I see people post about it in fitness groups on Facebook all the time. We do great, we are set with healthy choices, and then something goes wrong and that craving for homemade granola over low fat yogurt quickly spirals into an entire pint of Blue Bell's crazy cookie dough, not that I know from experience or anything but y'all crazy cookie dough could definitely be someone's kryptonite and bride's cake may have helped me usher in my 30's.

I have joked with my husband before about my non healthy relationship with Little Debbie growing up. I told him that Little Debbie was my best friend during those awkward teen years because she always stuck by my side...well, to my side. Some can eat one swiss cake roll and be done. I would eat one and then plot on how I could hide the fact that I ate another from my parents. It was an unhealthy relationship, but I didn't know how to get away from it. When I was sad, Little Debbie made me feel a little better. When I was discouraged, Blue Bell was there to save the day. When I was stressed, good ole Ruffles knew how to calm me down. I was ashamed that I emotionally ate, which led to even more emotional eating. Shame can keep us trapped far longer than we ever thought. It was a cycle for me.

Then, my twenties happened. I went through a divorce at only 23. Out of respect for the other person involved and because it isn't just my story to tell, I won't include any details other than I went through a divorce and it was the hardest time in my life at that point. I decided to try something new. Instead of emotional eating, it was emotional working out. Every time I would start feeling depressed, I would go run. I found this great track that almost no one went to so I could run and then just talk/ yell to God how much everything sucked (Sorry to everyone who corrected me about saying the word suck growing up. As you can see, it still stuck, but your voices reminding me to say stink are always still there every time I use it). I lost weight and got healthy. I felt amazing! I had finally beat the emotional eating right?

Nope. In 2012 I had a tragic accident. Okay...so I had an accident on a kid's inflatable water slide, more comedic than tragic. It left me needing two surgeries and being told I could no longer run. Cue the emotional eating again. The great thing about being stuck on a sofa after surgery...people feel bad and buy you all your favorite foods to pig out on. The bad thing about being stuck on a sofa after surgery, well, read the last part of the sentence before this one. I put on about 30 pounds in a few months.

I would love to say that now that I am down 80 lbs that I have fully conquered emotional eating, but I haven't. Last week, we got some hard news about a family member's health, and out came the jelly beans. Just yesterday, I had something discouraging happen and I broke out a serving of reduced fat Nilla Wafers....the Nilla Wafers people. My husband looked straight at me when our pastor then had a part of his sermon on how do we do when we are discouraged or things don't go our way. How do pastors always know about those emotional eaten Nilla Wafers? 🤣

This post isn't to say, "Hey, look at me! I've conquered this and you can too! This is how you do it in three easy steps!!' It's saying that you aren't alone if emotional eating has been a struggle for you. It's one I am daily working on. For me, putting on worship music and very loudly belting it out so that the entire county around me helps. One of my sisters loves to go for bike rides in nature when she is stressed. I mean, I now have a metal plate and five screws thanks to a water slide accident so I'm thinking I can't afford the medical bills that would result from me biking. I know that the key is to stop associating food with comfort and getting over stress and start actually dealing with the source of the emotions. So, that's where I'm at right now. I'm taking it each day knowing that, even though my emotional eating is now GERD friendly healthier options than before, it's still emotional eating and that's not too healthy. A Nilla wafer should just be a Nilla wafter, and a jelly bean should just be a jelly bean.

So, if you are in the same boat as me, let's try to both work on it this week. Find someone to encourage you, or, in my case, stare at you when the pastor is talking directly about you. 😳 When you get stressed out or discouraged, know that Little Debbie and Duncan Hines won't solve the problem and will possibly leave you with a stomach ache later. Let's get creative in how we can replace emotional eating with something healthy. Feel free to comment on this post or on my post on The Cajun Coloradan Facebook page if you are in this with me or if you have some great ideas for me.

                                                       The Starer...aka my amazing husband

Say What?!

See bottom of post for a meal idea

We've all been told just how powerful words are. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" Yep, the lie detector test determined that's a lie. We tell kids to be nice. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." (So many years of silence....I'm kidding!) But, do we tell ourselves that? What power do the words we say to ourselves have over us?

I know this sounds "kumbaya"ish , but I've really been reflecting on this as my four year old has started mimicking everything we say, I  mean everything. I accidentally taught him "buttnugget" the other day and then had to tell him that mommy was wrong and we shouldn't say that. I also had to turn away so he didn't see me laugh 🤣 Think about some of the things we say about ourselves. Would you really allow someone to say that about you?

I know, I know. Kristie, where are you going with this? Aren't you supposed to be writing about GERD and eating healthy? Yes, and this is totally part of it! I can change my eating, exercise, and get off of all medicines, but I'm not taking care of my health if I'm not watching what words I'm feeding myself.

The other day, I found myself telling the hubby, "Dude, I feel so fat. I feel fatter now then I ever was." One, yes I did say that. Two, yes I did say dude. Being an elementary teacher means your vocabulary never has to grow up right? What was the husband's response? Did he help me throw a pity party compete with streamers and fat free cake (gotta still include my good friend GERD to the party)? Nope, he stared at me like I had grown a horn or something and said I needed to stop talking like that. He actually sounded offended that I would talk about the woman he loves that way. I feel like everyone needs someone like my husband in their life....Someone like my husband ladies, not my husband. He's all mine 😉 We need people who won't coddle us and will just straight up tell us when we need to start loving ourselves more and start speaking the truth. The truth wasn't that I was feeling fatter. The truth was that I was frustrated because the scale hadn't moved for a week. The truth wasn't that I felt fatter than I ever was. The truth was that I was frustrated by my own unrealistic view of myself. The truth was that I needed to start seeing myself differently.

My grandfather use to say when the words are in your mind they belong to you but the moment you say them they belong to everyone around you. You can apologize, but you can never fully take them back. I'm challenging myself to take that advice and to go a step further because when the negative self talk is in my head, it's already doing damage. When I look in the mirror and get disgusted because *gasp* I have fat on my stomach (insert the word thighs, arms, or even big toe here), I'm not embracing the fact that I'm healthy and that God gave me this body to love and appreciate. When I tell myself that it would be easier if I just give up because what's the difference anyway, I'm not acknowledging the fact that I've never been one to just give up when things get harder. Why would I start now?

I want my son to believe in himself. I want him to know just how awesome he is. As a teacher, I know that kids learn from  modeling and doing so I know that the only way he will learn this is by watching us.

So, while this blog post may seem a little off topic...GERD... acid reflux...boogie man...ahh! (okay, I've hit the keywords I'm supposed to hit now), it's just as important to feed yourself with words that really fill you and inspire you. I talked in my last post about working out to music. Ben calls my music women music because all of the songs are...basically how much I rock 🤣. I start with "Fight Song" because it reminds me that I exercise to take back my life and end on "You Say/Who You Say I Am" every day because it reminds me to speak those words over myself.

In case no one told you today, you totally and completely rock. Yep, I'm talking to you. 😉

Cool Shout Out Time: I talked to someone I love so much today, let's call her Super Ninja, and she has been working so hard to take back her health. I'm so proud of her! I told y'all in the first post that I am now your biggest cheerleader. I love hearing when people are working and reaching goals! My energy level totally goes up, and it makes me want to push that much harder so we can do it together! You guys totally inspire me! Keep telling me your victories because a dance party celebrating you is so much better than a pity party that I use to throw, even without the streamers. 🎉

*And now the moment you have all been waiting for...the moment that might save this post for people thinking I've gone off the deep end instead of writing about my GERD...my new meal idea! Ben has been stretching me to expand beyond my basic meals now that the whole family is eating healthy. So, I'm baking a pork tenderloin with a light parmesan coating tonight. Throw in a veggie (green beans) and a small baked potato and you have a meal that is restaurant quality but "I pay a whole lotta money for my kid to go to preschool and work as a public school teacher" budget friendly. Be careful when choosing your pork tenderloin. I bought two from two different stores, and they have very different fat amounts.

What's In A Name?

Happy Birthday! 🎂 Wait, it's not your birthday?... I thought we had the same birthday 😉 Thank you to everyone who just made a mental note to tell me happy birthday now.

I've been thinking about the power of names for a while. My name means "follower of Christ" or "annointed one." My husband's name means "son of my right hand." That got me looking a little more into what that actually meant, and I read that the right hand represented strength. So, it can mean son of strength. Really cool side note,my son's name means defender of men. So, from The Annointed Follower of Christ and The Son of Strength came The Defender of Men. If that's not asking for our own superhero storyline, I don't know what is.

So, as I started thinking about names, I started thinking about other names we are given throughout our lives. We are all given labels. Some we embrace, and some we spend our lives hiding from. I started thinking about the effect those labels have on us.

For many years, I ran from my labels and tried to cover them.  I wore the label of abandonment for years and covered it with a smile. I wore the label of rejected and tried to hide it with humor (I mean, I am hilarious). I thought I had it all under control, but it led to emotional eating that spiraled out of control.

Let me be clear. In no way am I ever going to shame people for eating delicious drops of Heaven disguised as donuts, cookies, and cake. Having a cupcake or donut with friends because you are celebrating or just having a great day is one thing. Eating a cupcake and donuts  because you're running from stress or feelings is a totally different thing that could lead to some unhealthy choices emotionally and physically. I know I'm not the only one who relates to this, I hope I'm not (there is that label of insecurity sneaking back on me). It took my husband calling it out when he saw it to make me realize how many times I emotionally ate.

So, what do we do about it? Am I magically cured? No way on GGE! (That's a Sunday School Musical reference. Do yourself a favor and look it up. It's probably one of the worst made movies ever but I just couldn't stop watching it like it would somehow get better each time.)  Part of being healthy is working on our emotional health. Who says that we have to wear names and labels that others have put on us. You know what's cool about labels? THEY COME OFF! Ask my four year old. That's how we started playing the game of guess what canned veggie we are eating tonight while cooking supper. I have to constantly remind myself of the names I was born with and the names I've worked hard for.

I'm not rejected, I've been chosen.
I'm not abandoned, I'm set apart for greater things.
I'm not worthless. I'm worth dying for.
I am a strong and confident woman.
I am an amazing wife and mom. (Okay, most days 😂)
I am a caring and passionate teacher.
I AM A UNICORN! (Side note:  I knew Ben was the right guy for me when he said I was his unicorn, something he wanted but didn't think he would ever find. )


So... for my 34th birthday, I decided that maybe we can all celebrate together. Maybe, just maybe, we can all do a little relabeling.